


A Reluctant Colonel

by silentflux



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: Sweet Charity, Community: rounds_of_kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-27
Updated: 2008-01-27
Packaged: 2017-10-16 01:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentflux/pseuds/silentflux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John really doesn't want to…</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Reluctant Colonel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [winter_elf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/winter_elf/gifts).



_**FIC: A Reluctant Colonel, Sheppard/McKay, FRT**_  
 **Title:** A Reluctant Colonel  
 **Author:** Andrea/[](http://silentflux.livejournal.com/profile)[ **silentflux**](http://silentflux.livejournal.com/)  
 **Fandom:** Stargate Atlantis  
 **Pairing:** John Sheppard/Rodney McKay  
 **Rating:** FRT  
 **Word Count:** 3147  
 **Warnings:** Umm…slash? And spoilers for this past season's premier "Adrift"  
 **A/N:** Written for one of my Sweet Charity winners - Annette who wanted SGA McShep fic. I can't express how sorry I am that this was so late! *hugs* But I hope that it's what you wanted :)

Also written for my comm [](http://community.livejournal.com/rounds_of_kink/profile)[**rounds_of_kink**](http://community.livejournal.com/rounds_of_kink/) Amnesty Round

 **Prompt:** from [](http://community.livejournal.com/rounds_of_kink/profile)[**rounds_of_kink**](http://community.livejournal.com/rounds_of_kink/) "The body says what words cannot." by [](http://misalady.livejournal.com/profile)[**misalady**](http://misalady.livejournal.com/)  
 **Kink:** First time  
 **Summary:** John really doesn't want to…

This is my first time with this pairing, and only my second in this fandom... let me know what you think?

~*~

John was unable to pinpoint when it had happened. In fact, when he realized it himself, he felt like he'd gone twenty rounds with Ronon. He wanted Rodney. Difficult, mercurial, too-smart-for-his-own-good Dr. Rodney McKay. He couldn't imagine anything more complicated and inconvenient. Couldn't it have been anyone else? Ronon, Elizabeth, Lorne, even Teyla. But Rodney?

John threw himself into the surprisingly comfortable chair in his room and sighed as he tried to reconcile what he felt with what could not be. It could not. If Rodney was difficult to manage now, he would be impossible if John offered this and was rejected. Not to mention if he accepted. No. Better not to say anything at all. Yes. That's just what he'd do.

Lounging back, John let his eyes drift halfway shut, trying to convince himself that this was the right path. That good sex and companionship wasn't worth the risk. And who said the sex would be good? It might be horrible, especially if Rodney was as much of a control freak in the bedroom as he was in the rest of his life. Of course, control could be a good thing... No. Stop it. Do not go there. His fingers and feet took on a life of their own, drumming and jiggling until he couldn't tolerate it anymore. Pulling on a t-shirt, he left his quarters and headed to the dojo and exercise facilities.

Rodney McKay. Loud-mouthed, sarcastic, brilliant, and needy. Damn it. Breathing in, John tried to center himself as Teyla had shown him. But it just wasn't helping. He needed someone to beat up on. Where was Ronon anyways? Rubbing at his wrist, he looked around for the punching bag slash dummy thingy that Ronon had picked up somewhere. Sighing in relief when he found it stuffed out of place where the Marines thought it should be, he pulled it out and grabbed his fighting batons. A live opponent would be better, but he could still find the exhaustion he needed to at least find a few hours sleep.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Why in the hell did Rodney always have to do that? John was seething as he stalked away from the scientist, stalking toward his room and trying to shake off the fear and the annoyance that now seemed to be ever present when he was near the maddening man. His fucking act about being a coward and then he does some stupid shit like that. Jesus, doesn't he know that John's not worth it? Grinding his teeth, the airman stripped as he walked across his quarters and headed to the shower. Maybe by the time he was done, his hands would stop shaking.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

John was a soldier. That was who he was. And soldiers make field decisions - the nasty ones that no one wants to make. Because it has to be done to survive. He wished that the others could see that. They may not like his actions, but they were the only ones he could make at the time with the information he had available. It was always that way - triage.

John figured he wasn't being completely fair. They didn't hate him, and most of the time, they understood the decisions. He was glad that Ronon was there most of the time, because Ronon was a survivor and a soldier as well. He understood the need of the whole versus the need of one, survival of the whole - even if he hated the cost - was the most important thing. And though it may tear him apart, when hundreds and thousands of people depended on him to keep them safe, and he knew that saving this one person would rip everything apart and very likely cause the destruction and death of all those in your command, he had to choose. And choose wisely, harshly, and without emotion.

Elizabeth was his friend, his partner in Atlantis. The one person he trusted above all others. With her incapacitated, he was in charge. Not only did Rodney's actions undermine him, they put the entire city at risk. Not to mention Elizabeth who could very possibly be taken over from the inside out. He wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially her. Elizabeth was so in control, so sure and confident of herself and her place in the universe. It was a perversion of everything she was, every strength she had, to risk her people and her mind. And Rodney couldn't see it, he was blinded by the need to save her. John could understand the need - he felt it himself. But he'd made his decision - a hard decision that weighed consequences against personal feelings and the ability of Atlantis to do without Elizabeth if need be. The scientist had completely disregarded him, and John would not admit how much that hurt. He'd thought they had at least afforded each other some kind of friendship or respect that Rodney would take the time and understand him, but apparently not.

The rage was rushing through his veins and he couldn't stop the flash in his eyes. He saw McKay back up, and he was glad for it. John wasn't sure what he would do with Rodney within punching range right now. Turning on his heel, noticing even Ronon keeping more space than usual between them, he walked away before he did something unwise. Rodney was the most annoying, frustrating, infuriating man he'd every met. And John wasn't sure why he'd fallen in love with the idiot in the first place.

Teeth grinding so hard, he was considering sending Rodney his dentist's bill, John walked into the dojo hopefully, and saw a whole group of Marines practicing self defense. Baring his teeth in a predatory, rage-filled grin, he cocked his head in offer to Lorne whose eyes gleamed in answer. This would be infinitely better than that damn dummy.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

John didn't intend to withdraw from his team. He'd always kept a certain line between him and Rodney, just to assure himself that he wouldn't cross it. But with Ronon and Teyla, he'd never held back that much. For one thing, Teyla was persistent. And for all of Ronon's gruffness, his silence was more personal and companionable than anyone John had met in a long time. He didn't even notice it at first. Not as many meditation or sparring lessons with Teyla. Less time spent just hanging out with Ronon. Of course, he was definitely avoiding the labs. He didn't even try and fool himself about that.

However, he truly hadn't meant to pull away from the others as well. He hadn't even noticed until Teyla pulled him aside one day. "John?"

He paused on his way out of the infirmary after their customary after-almost-death checkup. "Teyla?"

"Ronon and I were both wondering. Are you upset with us?" Her tone was as smooth and deep as always, conveying her concern and caution in broaching this subject with him.

"What?" he asked, startled. "I - no?" He was completely taken aback by the question. "Why? Have I made you feel that way?"

"You have not been as forthcoming as usual. And I have noticed that you no longer take the time to spar or meditate with me. And Ronon has stated that you no longer spar with him often either. We were unsure as to the reason for this, so I thought I should ask. Have we? Angered you?" Her eyes spoke of sympathy and no little hurt at the thought that she had somehow made him angry in a way he didn't feel he could address with the Athosian.

"No, Teyla. I promise. Neither of you have done anything. I'm just... I just..." John made some motions with his hands, hoping that she would understand the emotion in his eyes, the frustration in his movements.

She was silent for a moment, studying him, and he fought not to shift under his gaze. "You know that even though Rodney has been difficult and you wish some distance, that does not mean you must distance yourself from us."

He froze at the accuracy of her statement, and met her knowing gaze. A blush crept up his neck that he told himself was from the heat, and he nodded sharply. "I'm sorry I've hurt either of you. I'll make an effort not to do it again." And he meant it. His team was extremely important to him. Even one cranky, misanthropic, pain in the ass physicist.

~ * ~ * ~ *~

John made an effort - it was Herculean, damn it. And he slowly allowed the team to flow back to where it was before. It became easier once Carter showed up, and he relaxed the bit of distance he always felt he needed when leading the entire of Atlantis. It seemed that only he, and possibly Teyla, knew the wall he kept between himself and McKay. No one else seemed aware of it, not even Rodney. The line was carefully visible only to Sheppard, allowing himself close, but not too close.

"Hey, Rodney," he greeted in the hall, proud of how normal his voice sounded, how completely and totally friendly it was. "What's up?"

"Sheppard, I'll have you know that I've been trying to beat some sense into Zelenka's head for the past hour and I'm not in the mood for whatever antics you have up your sleeve," came the rapid fire response, filled with annoyance and exasperation.

"I'm hurt that you think I'm so devious," Sheppard told him, playing along with sarcasm as was his habit.

"I'm sure," Rodney muttered as he diverted their course toward the mess hall. "I need food before I pass out and the crazy Czech takes that as permission to do the stupidest thing in the galaxy."

"Now, McKay, isn't that a little harsh?" John asked, biting his lip to prevent the smile. "Zelenka's a pretty smart guy. You're always saying he's the only one on the science team worth anything."

"Yes, well, that doesn't mean he can get a big head about it and just develop stupid ideas!" Rodney muttered as he went through the line with his tray, grabbing food seemingly at random until his tray was heaping. John only snagged a couple pieces of tolo fruit from the Athosian's settlement. It was kind of like a cross between a mango and a kiwi, and he loved it.

Biting into the tangy-sweet fruit, John didn't even think about the almost subvocal groan that escaped him as the flavor and texture burst over his senses, and he forgot that Rodney was sitting across from him. It was his one true vice of the day before getting beat down by paperwork and Ronon and Teyla. Mostly Teyla and Ronon, really. Of course, that was usually fun. And then he watched Teyla beat down Ronon which was even more fun since he didn't normally get bruises from that. But the few moments of peace in his day came from his almost ritualistic devouring of the tolo fruit and John loved it. Eyelashes fluttering, he paused after that first bite, eyes slowly opening to see Rodney staring with some raw emotion in his eyes quickly shuttered as he went back to his huge plate of food.

John shrugged off the reaction and went back to his fruit, taste blocking out all other senses as he ignored everything for a few blissful minutes.

~ * ~ * ~

It was a subtle campaign, John would give him that. And one he would have been clueless to if he wasn't already hyperaware of Rodney's movements and habits. The personal space bubble shrank around the scientist, but only, it seemed with John. And the occasional touch, seemingly innocent, but since Rodney almost never touched him, it was like being shocked with need, arousal.

John thought he would go insane. It got to the point where he would snap at Rodney, just to get him to back off. Of course, that resulted in these hurt looks being sent at him for the next day or so until he did something to rectify the situation. This was becoming absolutely unbearable, his body vibrating with tension every time the scientist came within five feet of him.

Sitting in the mess hall, taking a deep breath and John settled in with his tolo fruit and some water. Before he managed to even take a bite, there was heat radiating at his back that settled next to him at the table, close enough that his BDUs brushed against McKay's pants. Exasperated and on edge immediately, John shook his head and edged back. "McKay," he managed neutrally.

"Colonel, hope you don't mind me joining you," Rodney responded in that amazingly cheerful obtuse tone that informed the listener that even if they didn't agree, it wouldn't matter one bit.

"I... should probably go and check in with Carter," he answered nervously, pulling away even more as he stood, almost forgetting about his fruit.

"John -" He looked down and saw wide blue eyes staring up at him with hurt and bewilderment. Shaking his head, he hastily left the mess hall, figuring that he would grab a piece of tolo fruit later. Once the area was no longer inhabited by one Rodney McKay.

~ * ~ * ~

Opening his quarter's doors at the summons, John came up short, words sticking in his throat as he saw who was waiting there. It was late - almost midnight. So, when a chime had informed him of someone at his door, he assumed it would be Lorne or one of the others to inform him of a problem. Usually when they did so in person, it was a problem that was more of a joke than an emergency. Of course, they were the ones to deal with it when the scientists didn't wish to. So, he'd geared himself up for that possibility, taken completely by surprise when Rodney appeared carrying tolo fruit on the other side of his door.

"Hi," the physicist greeted nervously, fidgeting with the fruit in his hands. "I know you usually eat some of this, and you forgot it at the table earlier, so..." His babbling trailed off as he stepped into the room and set the fruit on the nearby table. "Just wanted to make sure you didn't miss out." A darkened gaze met John's and he forgot to breathe as the other man leaned in close. "Good night, John." Hot, humid breath ghosted over his sensitized skin and he shivered at the promises of that lazy tone. And then, the heat in front of him disappeared.

It was several minutes before the colonel could make himself move from the spot that Rodney had left him in, leaning heavily against the lone bookshelf in the room as he breathed in the scent left in the scientist's wake. Rodney's scent twined with the sweet, crisp scent of John's favorite fruit, which sat heavily on his tongue, seeming to surround him. It took a long moment for his breathing to return to normal even if his body refused to.

And when John finally relented and took a bite out of the ripened fruit left behind, his body spasmed with need and a groan escaped him as he was instantly hard.

After that night, he never ate tolo fruit in public again.

~ * ~ * ~

Rodney continued his awkward flirting, and John pretended not to notice, despite the disapproving looks he received from Teyla. It wasn't as if he didn't want the man. It was more that John was so completely sure that it would be an absolute disaster.

It was team movie night, and Rodney had somehow gotten a copy of all three Terminator movies. It was definitely keeping Ronon entertained as he pointed out flaws in techniques and different things the characters should have tried. It was always interesting watching movies with people who knew very little of Earth culture. An experience in translation, really.

Of course, Rodney was quick to point out the flaws in the time travel of the movie, but John just sat back with his popcorn and enjoyed the movies. It was late when they finally wrapped things up, Teyla having caught a quick catnap during the third movie as she was prone to exhaustion lately. John smiled at her as he carefully woke her up so that she could head to her quarters. Ronon nodded to him as he helped her up and the colonel knew he'd see her back to her rooms.

As Rodney helped him pick up the blankets and pillows, John felt something inside him settle, click into place. The sensation was almost physical, almost pain, and he paused as he picked up the popcorn bowl, hand coming up to press at his chest.

"You okay?" Rodney asked, his quiet voice somehow more somber than usual, less demanding, and John turned his head and saw how close he was standing.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he murmured, staring into clear blue eyes and sighing softly.

"John, I - " There was a long pause before the physicist sighed heavily and backed away. "Nevermind." He was halfway to the door before John made a decision and moved.

"Rodney, don't go." The colonel reached out and placed a hand on Rodney's arm.

"Did you want to watch another movie?" The words were clipped and blue eyes refused to meet John's.

"No," he murmured and reached up to cup the other man's jaw, pulling him up to catch his gaze before softly touching their lips together.

Rodney gasped and John took advantage, tongue flicking out almost tentatively before deepening the kiss. The soft slick slide of lips and tongue and the heated exchange of breath and taste, and when John pulled back, they were both panting.

"Okay?"

"God, yes."

~ * ~ * ~

The next day, John shrugged at Ronon's smile and Teyla's approval as he snagged a few tolo fruit from the line. He looked over to see Rodney arguing with Zelenka at one of the mess hall tables and he headed over just as the Czech threw up his hands and stalked off.

"Hey," he greeted, settling across from the other man.

"Hi." A pink tinge began to creep its way up Rodney's pale neck, and John smirked.

"So, wanna split a tolo fruit with me?" John purred, his voice imbued with all the dirty thoughts he'd had while eating the fruit over the past month since Rodney had brought it to him. The blush deepened rapidly even as the other man nodded, seemingly unable to even babble at the moment, and something inside John broke away as he murmured, "Let's go."

And John definitely never ate a tolo fruit in public again, but Rodney always kept him in good supply.

~ * ~ * ~


End file.
